Sweet Silence
by TheStarsAbove7
Summary: I looked around the room at all the smiling facing, hearing all the laughter that filled the air around me. Even as so much happiness surrounded me, I couldn't help but to feel…nothing. So I went on pretending like nothing was wrong. I pretended I was happy when all I wanted was the sweet silence of death.


**A/N: Hello! This story takes place just before Saya falls into her sleep during the last episode. Specifically the party they are having in Omoro.**

 **The Sweet Silence**

 **Saya**

I looked around the room at all the smiling facing, hearing all the laughter that filled the air around me. Even as so much happiness surrounded me, I couldn't help but to feel…nothing. I felt no pain, no sorrow, no joy…just nothingness. Sometimes it would be replaced with a dull ache but nothing more. I no longer had any fears or worries. They had all died along with Diva. They no longer had control over my existence. I was free. Totally and completely free and yet I felt nothing. Ever since my sister died, everything has felt different…off even. It was as if a piece of myself had perished with her. I never knew loss could be so bittersweet as to feel the void that Diva left within me. And then…and then Haji….he died too. My first and only love.

I'd watched many people die throughout the years. Some of them I cared about and some of them were mere strangers who fought alongside me in the war against Diva. Even still, never had I felt such great a loss as I did when I watched Haji die. For so long, he was my best friend. He always cared for me and watched out for me. He protected me till the very end.

I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath. _'When will the end ever come?'_

"Hey, Saya, how ya feeling? Tired?" Kai asked as he put a hand on my shoulder.

I forced a small smiled. "No. Not at all. I'm feeling a lot better than usual."

He grinned wide and ruffled my hair a bit. "Good! Just tell big brother when the baby wants its nap."

"Oh shut up!" I laughed, swatting his hand away.

"Hey, Otonashi! I'm going to the mall tomorrow, wanna come along? Kaori is coming too," Mao inquired as she approached the bar.

"Sure! Sounds like fun!"

"Great! How's one o'clock?"

"Yeah, that's-" Suddenly my head felt heavy and the room came in and out of focus. My knees felt weak and I could barely stand. Kai caught me and led me to the back as to not cause a scene.

"Hey, Saya. Hang in there."

I could barely hear him. His voice was a dull hum as my ears rang. He smacked my cheeks lightly. "Saya, focus. Come on."

"Kai, maybe it's ti-"

"No!" he half yelled. "No…Saya can't go yet. She promised."

"Kai, she can't help it if-"

"Just stop, Mao," he said sternly, holding a hand up to silence her.

She scoffed and walked off. "Fuck you, Kai."

"Saya, can ya hear me? Hey, Saya."

"K-Kai…I'm alright," I said softly as my vision began clearing up and my hearing coming back to me.

He breathed a sigh of relief and the worry fled his eyes. "Oh good! I'll get Julia."

"Wait, Kai-" I tried calling after him but my voice was still too weak. After that, Julia checked me over and told me to get some rest and to come into the clinic tomorrow morning if I was up to it.

So I went on pretending like nothing was wrong. I pretended I was happy when all I wanted was the sweet silence of death.

Kai helped me up to my room and laid me down in my bed. I snuggled under the covers to get warm and closed my eyes.

"Saya, I know it's hard right now but Julia's going to find a way so you don't have to go into your hibernation anymore. You could have a chance at a real life. You-"

"Hey, Kai, I'm really tired."

"Oh! Sorry! I'll leave you alone!" He got up and quickly left the room.

I closed my eyes once again and met sleep instantly.

…

I awoke suddenly. My eyes shot open and I saw pitch darkness. My heart was beating fast and I could barely catch my breath. I wiped the sweat from my brow as I sat up. I stared around the room for a moment to get my vision used to the darkness. Everything was so still and untouched.

Slowly I got to my feet to get a glass of water. I stepped into the kitchen and got a glass from the cabinet.

' _ **Saya…'**_

A minute voice tickled the back of my consciousness. It was almost as if I had imagined it. I looked around and shook my head.

I continued to get some water. The faucet made a loud squeaking noise as I turned it on and the water poured out. I filled my cup and put it to my lips, the cool liquid hitting my tongue and giving me chills. I shivered slightly and began walking back to my room.

' _ **Saya.'**_

I heard it a little more clearly that time. I stopped and turned back towards the door leading outside. "What…is that?" I whispered aloud.

' _ **Saya.'**_

It was louder then. _'Am I losing my mind? No…stop. This is just your imagination. It can't be…that person…is…'_

I took in the crisp night air as the chill bumps ran up my arms. It was surprisingly cool for a summer night in Okinawa. The crickets chirped and the saquatas hummed in the background as the ocean waves continued to crash into the shore. I gazed up at the clear night sky, the stars decorating it like diamonds as the opalescent moon shone beautifully.

I started the way to the family tomb. I loved long walks at night and it was the perfect time.

' _ **Saya…'**_

I stopped mid step and looked back, thinking someone must be playing a trick. "Hello? Kai?" I waited a moment but there was no reply. Cautiously, I began walking again as I scanned the area for anyone or anything. I didn't know what to expect, honestly.

' _ **Saya!'**_

That voice…so familiar. I knew it better than I knew my own. There was no denying it then.

"…Haji…?" I whispered softly as the sting of tears touched my eyes.

There was silence. I laughed slightly. "I'm losing my mind," I whispered as I wiped at the tears threatening to fall. I leaned on a nearby wall and closed my eyes. _'No…this isn't happening. You're just tired. It's time for you to sleep. This is normal.'_

' _ **Saya, it's me'**_

My eyes shot open. "Haji!" I cried. "Where are you?"

' _ **Listen to me, Saya. I'm alright.'**_

"Haji, where are you?"

' _ **New York. I'm badly injured.'**_

"How do I know that it's really you? This could just be wishful thinking…"

' _ **The last conversation Kai and I had before the final battle was about you. He was trying to convince me to tell you what I wanted. Ask him.'**_


End file.
